Children need Adults to be their Substitute Prefrontal Cortex, says Natalie Costa.

Wit + Grit

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Monday, 23 March 2026 - 54 minutes

What happens when you’re trying to perform at work while also being a present, patient and emotionally available parent at home?

In Episode 30, we sit down with Natalie Costa to explore emotional fitness in families, schools and workplaces. Natalie shares her mission to help raise a generation of connected humans by supporting the adults around them - parents, teachers and leaders alike.

From childhood anxiety and classroom breakthroughs to parental guilt, emotional regulation and the pressure modern families face, this is a thoughtful, practical and deeply human conversation about what children really need, what parents are carrying, and how workplaces can better support the people raising the next generation.

It’s an episode about pressure, repair, resilience and the courage to stay steady when life feels anything but.

Key themes

1. Emotional fitness in children and adults
2. Parenting under pressure
3. Childhood anxiety and self-belief
4. Neuroplasticity and changing old patterns
5. Parent guilt and the “mental load”
6. Why connection matters more than ever
7. How leaders can better support working parents

Key takeaways

1. Children need adults to be their substitute prefrontal cortex
2. There is only room for one adult in the parent-child relationship
3. You can’t parent perfectly, but you can repair
4. Emotional regulation is a skill, not a personality trait
5. Neuroplasticity means we can build new emotional habits at any age
6. Modern parenting is harder because many families are raising children without a village
7. Connection with children often starts by taking an interest in their world
8. Great leadership at work starts with seeing the human behind the behaviour
9. Supporting parents at work is not a perk — it’s a culture and performance issue

Pull quotes / soundbites

1. “We are more connected than ever before, but more emotionally disconnected than ever before.”
2. “We need to support the people raising the next generation.”
3. “There’s only space for one adult in the relationship — and it’s not your child.”
4. “You can’t get it wrong if you are repairing and taking ownership.”
5. “Neuroplasticity is the muscle of our mind.”
6. “What are the keys to your kid’s kingdom?”
7. “Connect before you correct.”
8. “We’re all big kids walking around trying to run companies.”
9. “A lot of guilt is really just being pulled between things we value.”

Suggested chapter titles

1. 00:00 – Welcome to Episode 30
2. 00:57 – Natalie’s mission: raising connected humans
3. 02:34 – From teaching to emotional fitness
4. 06:16 – The classroom moment that changed everything
5. 09:16 – Teaching kids what to do with big feelings
6. 14:17 – Why the work has to include parents
7. 17:25 – Old stories, childhood beliefs and change
8. 21:46 – What neuroplasticity actually means
9. 25:35 – Is it harder than ever to be a parent?
10. 27:52 – Simple ways to reconnect with your kids
11. 31:31 – What workplace support for parents should look like
12. 35:58 – Does the work start with children or adults?
13. 40:22 – Emotional fitness and sitting with discomfort
14. 45:14 – What to do at 2am when your mind won’t stop
15. 48:06 – Progressive leadership for working parents
16. 51:16 – Final takeaways

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